My Letter to Santa

Hi Santa:

It's me, Emeline. I'm writing you a very sweet yet strange letter to you. I know, people say I'm "too old", but seriously, I've been such a good girl! Please do not give me coal (again)! Anyway, answer these questions before bruning this thing up.


1. Why are you fat? I mean, like, you want kids to live a safe, healthy life, but look at you you fatty. So big, no wonder kids cry when they hug you.
2. Why did you name your reindeer after....whatever? I mean who names reindeer "Cupid", "Vixen", or even "Ruldoph"? I mean medicine's name sound better!
3. Why are you always red? I mean like, the hat, the clothes, the face is all red! And don't you get pinched during St. Patricks day, since that's the only day you can be green, right?
4. What is wrong with you and cookies? Like, whenever people leave out cookies, ou always eat them. What are you, a fat guy giving everyone presents or a stalker trying to get our cookies?
5. How come you like to say ho ho ho? What's wrong with "I'm a lousy nitwit!"
6. This is my last question: why you so mean? First off, you make eight poor innocent reindeer pull that stupid sleigh. And how did that sleigh be so strong enough to hold a fatso like you?


So, please reply anytime soon. Reply, or I show up at the North Pole witha chainsaw. Like I said, I'm a sweet innocent girl who does not deserve coal for Christmas.

Whatever, Emeline